A LA MODE

So what awaits us in our three Euro-destinations? Well, many of us have already experienced the delights of Perpignan and Treviso, but Castres will be a new experience. Those of us with a foot in the Quins camp may need to pick the brains of their newly-appointed skipper, who’s just spent two seasons there!

First, Treviso. “This delightful city a few miles north of Venice has managed to retain its idyllic atmosphere in spite of the extraordinary vitality of its economy”. So says my Berlitz Guide to Northern Italy and Rome. Sadly, it doesn’t have the happiest of memories for Wasps fans. During our traumatic 2001/2 season, in which we spent much of the time at the bottom of the Premiership, we went there and lost.

There was some consolation for those of us in Don Fowler’s official group, which was billeted in the same hotel as the team. Halfway through our excellent, but rather melancholy, post-match dinner, Nigel Melville walked into the dining room, apologised to us for the team’s performance and informed us that “…the boys are in the bar, and they owe you a few.”

A very liquid night ensued, with the Director of Rugby the last to leave the bar and the first to get up for breakfast. My own memories of that evening involve being force-fed large quantities of red wine by a prop currently plying his trade in Dublin. My Sunday hangover was a nightmare, and lasted until the evening.

What of the city? A charming place, full of attractive buildings, monuments, well-stocked shops - the usual. It also has a wide range of quality bars and restaurants, as you would expect from any self-respecting city.

The ideal time to visit would be the end of October. Hopefully, the away game will be our second pool match. The first weekend marks the start of half-term, and the airlines have hiked prices accordingly.

Next, Perpignan, where we enjoyed a memorable win on our way to Heineken Cup glory in 2004. This remains one of the most brutal games we’ve ever played in Europe, resulting in the citing of a number of USAP players. It was the match which led to the premature end of Rob Howley’s career. His wrist was stamped on early in the game, and he never fully recovered.

We had been warned that the Stade Aimé Giral would be an intimidating place, and so it proved. Not for nothing is it nicknamed Le Chaudron - the Cauldron. Partisan support at its most partisan. Despite that, USAP supporters showed the true spirit of the game when thousands stayed behind to give their conquerors a standing ovation as they left the field.

A joyful evening followed, with supporters and fans mixing happily in a restaurant in the centre of town. Unfortunately, DW HQ for the weekend - Imbernon’s - was closed. Mine host Jean-François - lock and enforcer in France’s 1977 Grand Slam team, with hands the size of dinner plates, and a scowl to stun a police dog at 50 paces - was on commentary duty and his staff were all at the game.

I did pop in the following morning, on my way to catch the airport bus. My Wasps shirt provoked generous and genuine applause, and le patron, who was all smiles, could not have been more gracious.

Perpignan is famed for its connections with Salvador Dali, who - on a visit in 1963 - declared the railway station to be the centre of the world. Notwithstanding the questionable nature of that claim, a monument to the surreal artist has been erected outside la gare.

The city is also renowned for the wide range of canine faeces which liberally decorate its trottoirs. Beware!

The important thing to remember about Perpignan is that its people regard themselves as Catalan first, French second. USAP used to play in an attractive sky blue and white strip - like that of Argentina. They have now adopted the more alarming Catalan colours - MCC-style red and yellow.

USAP was formed back in the 1920s, when two clubs merged. Before the merger, they played each other in a commemorative match. I believe it ended 0-0, with both sides having three or four players sent off!

Perpignan clearly represent our stiffest challenge in this pool. Their home record is excellent, they’ve reached the semi-finals once and were beaten finalists in 2003.

One last piece of trivia - Perpignan is twinned with Lancaster.

And so to Castres - new ground for all of us.

If you were in Toulouse this year, you’ll remember that a vast army of Munster supporters descended on Castres for the Friday night game, then descended on Trevor Brennan’s bar - back in Toulouse. An internet search does rather bear out the suspicion that the town is not blessed with large numbers of hotel beds, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.

Art lovers may wish to note that Castres has a Goya Museum. Anyone interested should contact Dixie, who will doubtless have been there for at least a week before the rest of us arrive.

Castres were the seventh French side to qualify, and their Heineken Cup record is unimpressive. Last season, when they failed to qualify for the knockout stage, was the first time they’d been in the competition since 2001/2. They’ve only ever qualified six times, and have never progressed beyond the quarterfinals. They seem to be one of those French sides who - like Bourgoin - take the domestic competition more seriously. One or two bad results, and they’re likely to put out a team of reserves.

On the field, this season’s draw gives us a great chance to mount a serious challenge for the trophy we memorably won back in 2004 at Twickenham. The only other time the final has been at Twickenham, Northampton lifted the trophy, in 2000. This season’s final will again be at Billy Williams’s Cabbage Patch. Let’s hope we make it three English winners out of three!

Off the field, the draw is belated and mouth-watering compensation for the season in which our European travels took us to Glasgow, Belfast and Llanelli. With all due respect to those three places, most people wouldn’t place them top of their list for weekends away!

So - dust off the passports, stock up on the euros (and the liver salts) and bon voyage à tous, buon viaggio a tutti!

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