Their track record

Munster's European pedigree would not look out of place in the parade ring at Crufts- you could be forgiven for thinking they only enter the tournament at the knock-out stages. In the last 8 seasons they have got to the final three times, finally winning against Biarritz in 2006 after suffering against the boot of Paul Grayson and the hand of Neil Back on the previous two occasions. Three semi-final defeats, and two Quarter-final reverses complete the set, the most recent of those coming against Llanelli Scarlets last season. During that period they had three seasons under our very own Alan Gaffney, but he could only get them as far as the semi-final twice, only to be denied by two late Wasps tries in a memorable encounter in 2004, and by a single point by Toulouse in France the previous season.

 A lot of their success has been built on the fortress of Thomond Park, which was not breached until our old mates the Leicester Tigers won there last season. Having said that, Munster are also fiercely competitive on the road and you can always guarantee a huge following wherever they travel.

The Munster Squad

How are we supposed to beat this lot? They are practically a national team with a few New Zealanders thrown in- surely we stand no chance, and don't even deserve to be at the serious end of such an illustrious tournament whilst proper teams are at home cooling their heels.

Anyway, here is a run-through of the key Munster players:

Doug O'Howlett- local winger who was ironically signed whilst on holiday in New Zealand. Was so keen to get back to Ireland he was allegedly seen running over the tops of parked cars. Will undoubtedly be too quick for Richard Haughton.

Ronan O'Gara- Is there a better kicker from hand in Europe? I wouldn't bet on it, and nor should he.

Peter Stringfellow- After years of being the first choice for his club and country he is gradually being eclipsed by younger rivals. Should never have had his hair cut off. Does he still see Neil Back's hand in his worst dreams?

Donncha O'Callaghan- was voted ‘man of the match' in a recent contest when his shorts failed to last the distance. Play was eventually stopped at a lineout when his team-mates were deemed to be getting an unfair advantage when it came to lifting.

Paul O'Connell- looked odds-on to be the next Lions captain a year ago, but injury and loss of form have put him back considerably. Has often been compared to Martin Johnson, the only difference being that Johnno has had his hands on the silverware rather more often! Let's hope he doesn't use this stage to start his comeback!

David Wallace- the third member of the greatest dynasty since the Bennazzis, although in fairness the Wallaces do cover almost the full range of positions on the pitch. Thankfully we had the best two (more of that anon).

Road to the Semis

Whilst we only got there by sheer luck and the presence of an Italian team in our group, no-one can deny Munster's right to a place in the Citadel of Coventry. They came out on top in this year's ‘group of death' despite finishing equal on points with Clermont and defending champeens London Wasps, with the Scarlets left trailing in their wake. The good news for us is that they visited Coventry for their ‘away' game against the Pests and managed to lose. We have no such skeletons in our cupboard, although I'm sure after Sunday we're capable of losing to Wasps anywhere!

In the quarter-final they again confounded the odds by winning at Castle Grim, and in the process stirred up a nasty little hornets nest laying in wait for us the following week.

Haven't we met before?

The 1999-2000 season was at the beginning of Munster's golden era, and even then they had a good smattering of internationals throughout the team. Most notably the ‘flying potato' Keith Wood on leave from Quins, ‘the claw' Peter Clohessy and the legendary Mick Galwey. There was a decent joke doing the rounds about Danny Grewcock and Mick Galwey going to heaven: - perhaps someone would be kind enough to remind us of it. It was Sarries first serious tilt at the Heineken Cup, and even though we were slipping from the heights of 1998, we could still put out a decent pack at the very least.

Anyway, the first clash was at Vicarage Road. Paul Wallace was on the front of the programme, and I was lucky enough to win the ‘signed programme competition' for asking Wally a particularly astute question about propping skills. Sarries stormed into a good early lead with tries from the unlikely duo of Nick Walshe and Roberto Grau and had a comfortable looking 21-9 lead at half time. In true Sarries tradition that counted for very little, as poor defence led to a couple of late Munster tries to steal the match at the death 34-35.

In the return at Thomond Park Sarries again finished the first half with a reasonable lead (17-8).  And yet again Munster came back strongly, with the lead changing hands a few times before Keith Wood scored a try in the last minute to get Munster within a point. Ronan O'Gara's conversion attempt hit the post, but with 14000 Irishmen providing wind assistance it dropped through to break Sarries hearts yet again. We had again scored three tries, this time a brace from Tofty and one from our own Irishman Darragh O'Mahoney in the days before he was being outpaced by prop forwards.

Anyone thinking that we only need to wheel Richard Hill out onto the pitch to guarantee victory on Sunday needs to remember that he played in both of those games, as did SuperKev. For the Munstermen O'Gara, Stringer, John Hayes, Alan Quinlan and David Wallace should still be in the squad 8 years on.

Reasons to be Cheerful, Here's 3

1. Munster have lost 40% of their Heineken Cup knock-out matches, whilst we have won all of ours
2. Munster have lost all of their games at Coventry, whilst we are unbeaten
3. If still in doubt, see 1 or 2 above

Finally, A song for Europe….

(with apologies to Bobby Boris Pickett) 

We were struggling in the league, playing sh!te

The chance of silverware was looking slight

Just then Hilly from his slab began to rise

We beat the Welsh, and what a prize! 

Our biggest match,

It was the Munster Match,

The Munster Match,

Del will score in a flash

The Munster Match

The Fez are out on the lash

 We’ll win the match

We’ll win the Munster match 

The front row were having fun,

The Irish boys just can’t scrum

The backs included SuperKev,

Powell and Jack-son 

The team were rucking, Hilly’s got the man down,

Here comes the ball lets drive down the ground

The ugly brothers were about to arrive,

That’s Gustard at six, and Chesney at Five 

We’ll win the match,

We’ll win the Munster Match……. 

Out from the sick-room Jack’s voice did ring,

Got hurt in Cardiff and is wearing a sling,

Fell on his hand, and hurt his wrist, and said

Another ***** semi-final I’ve missed! 

We’ll win the match,

We’ll win the Munster Match……. 

Eds Note: I couldn't resist. http://www.themonstermash.com/mmdex.html - CONTAINS SOUND

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